Saturday, May 07, 2016

Reporter Pman reporting live from here.

So I got a request from an Indian friend of mine living in India to write one of these posts that I used to when we were all in school and through university. It was mostly a babbling piece I used to write, about what I was doing at the time and also what I knew everyone else was it would go a bit like this.....

...zzztt...zztt....."tuning frequency noises"...."damn radio!"....

"This is Pman reporting to you live from the underside of kangaroo land, next to lord of the rings land....., for all of you who do not know where that is, you need to go back to school and talk to our geography teacher. Although none of the references I've made relate to geography. Talk to a 12 year old kid instead.

Kapow! - *Pman is hit on the head by the producer for digressing again!* (Producer Ubaid is quite the producer, enough to give me a permanent head damage (PHD) (you see what I did there).

"Moving on, the orangutan has escaped its enclosure from Kangaroo island zoo and has now taken refuge on the top of the university clock tower, scaring a lot of university students and creating an atmosphere of havoc and mayhem. Some students were in a state of panic as we interviewed them.

We have our top correspondent on the field as we speak, she will be reporting to us live from the gardens of the campus:

Pman : "Zunaira  - What is the state of the students and what are the movements of the orangutan ?"

" Oh prithiee, the orangutan is fine and orange, jumping up and down and having a bit of fun. The students are panicking as they are running out of data on their phones. Some students have never looked up in the trees, as they would miss their facebook posts on their phones. The students are trying to lure the animal in by tempting it with mars bars and red bull but to no avail. The university authorities have declined to comment on the situation. Back to you Prothie."

Pman: "Thanks Zunaira, for getting my name wrong again. We'll reconvene with her report on this crisis situation in a few moment"

Now to traffic news in the big town of Jayang Suba, we have local correspondent Nagi in the chopper.

"Pman, the traffic going north is bumper to bumper, the traffic going south is tyre to tyre, the traffic going west is uber to uber and the eastern board of the town have all left the cars and are watching EPL at the mamak, nothing unusual to report. Back to you"

Pman : "Thanks Nagi for the captivating and helpful traffic report."

On to business, we have local expert correspondents Ahmed and Albaraa at their head office downtown.

"Pman, the robots have rebelled and have taken over, we need assistance here. Call the hackers, we have a problem."

Pman : "uh...ok....We are having some technical difficulties with our business segment of the news and will be back at a later date, thanks guys."

"Moving on to my favorite section, the food news!, with our host Sam and his special guest Ahmed Salah"

"So Sam whats the special for today ? "

Sam - " Well Ahmed hasn't shown up yet, I've eaten what I cooked, If you had a camera you could e have a close up shot of these crumbs, and call it apple crumble or something. " *Mic Drop* and Sam walks out.

*Ahmed walks in 1 hour later*

Pman - "Ahmed, have you got anything to share with us today ? "

Ahmed - "This show sucks! there's no food, and more importantly I was told this was going to be a food eating show, I ......I'm going back. *Mic drop* *Ahmed walks out*

*Today's news is not working out very well*

"Let's move onto current affairs and political news with our expert on the road, no he's actually driving and on the hands free kit"

Pman : "Wayne, I hope you've got two hands on the wheel ? What can you tell us about the current affairs and if there's any breaking news ?

Wayne - "Well, current affairs is that I just had some banana leaf at Devi's, service was horrible, and slow. I don't do politics, never have......*Bluetooth disconnected* (Later found out, Wayne was playing Dota and Vaping at home)

We'll try Mushfique on the other end of the world
Mushfique - "Pman, I'm a little busy now doing important political things, will chat to you later"

Let's try our friendly neighborhood interior designer and fashion consultant on the latest in home decor and menswear:

"Jeff and Ben, good to have you on the show today, give us some good news!"

Jeff : "Well, the best place to play soccer is not in the house, but outside. If you don't have a choice, you can get away with the spare bedroom. "

Ben : "The best thing to accompany your suit is a great tasting plate of sushi/sashimi and sake" (referring to his latest facebook posts)

And finally we have the Parents and Baby news section- our correspondents (we seem to have quite a few at the moment) seem to be busy tending to their babies but we'll give them a  try :

Correspondents :

Kiyama - "Start debating with your child from an early age, it really works "
Sahiba - "Just dance.....just dance"
Haris - *We need to catch up man* "It can be a little hectic, but its beautiful!"
Ehaab - " more cars"
Huzaifah  - "Pman, I ain't got no time for this, things to do, places to be"
Zaky - "What Huzi said"

On to our spotlight section, we have entertainment director sharlene here to shed some light on some work she's been doing lately:

Sharlene : "laaaa la dee dum dum ..." *Sharlene is singing at the moment, we will catch up with her when she's not*

Finally in our brand new section, its all about covert operation and affairs

Pman : "So Chuan Loong, what can you tell us about the latest technology in spyware ? "
Chuan Loong : " My name is Foo, Martin Foo"
Pman : "ok"

That was the news with me Pman, tune in next blue moon for another exciting, babble of News on your favorite radio station on preset 6.

*None of the characters or their  portrayals are true, if any portrayal or stories portrayed here are true, bloody hell I'm good. Moral of the story is - I haven't caught up with you guys enough to even write a terrible piece on you.

This is pman signing out.

PS. - I know I've left some people out - because of two options :

1. I got hungry
2. We need to catch up
3. I forgot (unlikely)


Thursday, January 21, 2016

Some philosophical mumblings.

The saying when one door closes another opens, or in a more practical sense when you miss out on one opportunity, you will be presented with another one. In its essence, you will almost never be presented with one, but given the opportunity to focus your energy in finding another one.